A cloudy day
I went to a funeral today. A wonderful man, an amazing, spiritual, kind-hearted man died Saturday morning. He was 53 years old. His wife could not wake him up, and then he was gone. He leaves behind two young daughters and a church full of stunned friends and colleagues. I don’t get it. I can’t wrap my head around it.
Life is not fair. The world is full of horrible, mean-spirited, small people who seem to live forever. Several names come immediately to mind. Why him? I don’t get it.
After the funeral, I went to Victor’s on 38th and Grand for a Cuban breakfast. I sat by myself in a booth because my brother was out raking leaves and could not join me. I actually enjoy eating alone. When I was younger, I was sure everyone was looking at me and wondering why I didn’t have any friends. But now I am close to 40, and I love alone time of any kind. I love to shop alone, eat alone, even go to a movie or two. During the day, when the theater is empty. I love that.
I will be 40 in February. I am 13 years younger than this man, this lovely spirit of a man that died. I don’t get how a heart just stops. I just don’t get it.
posted by Alex @ 3:56 PM
6 Comments:
At 5:25 PM,
Voix said…
Oh Alex -- my deepest condolences to you and to this man's family and other friends. That's the worst part about death -- when it's completely unexpected and it takes people we didn't even consider losing, the shock takes a while to sink in.
Big hugs. Sounds like it's time to nest for a while.
At 9:56 PM,
Rand said…
Hey, Alex -
The whole mortality thing really sucks. And the random unfairness of it all also sucks.
I'm with you on the alone time. My kids called it "daddy alone time" years ago and it has stuck. I crave the time alone to recharge.
40 is good. I'm 41 now and I like the fact that I have had some serious life experience but I am still young enough to still do most of the things I want to do (the 7-minute mile? Can't do that any more - but I don't want to anyway).
The new Pizza Luce is opening just around the corner from me in December (on my block!!! Awesome!!!)
When you turn 40 in February the family and I will buy you and the hubs a birthday pizza!!! My son might even talk to you this time!
At 2:27 AM,
Geoff Herbach said…
Two of my childhood friends have died in the last couple of years, both in their early thirties and both somewhat inexplicably (just in bed at night). I took them both hard (the second absolutely whacked me out, a very close friend, sort of sent me short-wire -- I'm still not exactly recovered from the shock). I don't know if there's a lesson beyond evidence of brutish and short? Cuban breakfasts are good. Pizza Luce is. Eating alone is nice sometimes. Eating with people can be really nice. I just had a glass of orange juice. I like the color of your blog. Lex Ham's son does talk and his daughter is a talker like him. I got this lemon grass soap for my birthday that makes the whole back of my house smell like a tea shop. There's a lot that's nice. People do just go. Hopefully they've figured out some kind of happiness before, and haven't just struggled with the tough stuff. Maybe that's the lesson?
At 1:10 PM,
Alex said…
Rand- you are on for pizza. I didn't know about the new opening, that is good news. I cannot wait to hear Lex Junior's voice.
Mr. H.- By all accounts, this man had found happiness, love, and peace in his life. His name even means "pleasant" in Hebrew. You are right, there is a lot that is nice in this world. Especially lemon grass soaps.
Thanks all.
At 8:18 AM,
Citizen said…
Sorry, Alex. I don't get it, either. Any of it.
At 12:19 AM,
David Oppegaard said…
"Death is nothing at all: it does not count. I have only slipped away into the next room."
-Henry Scott Holland
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