Lodown

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Let the pampering begin


I am considering this weekend as the last bit of freedom before I dive head long into the empty pool that is my thesis.

I declare today Alex Day, at least in my little corner of the universe. I am going to (try really really hard to) avoid any errand-running, laundry, house cleaning, or anything else that is not luxurious or relaxing or fun or all of those things. I say that now, but you can bet your bottom dollar I will end up at Target at least once today.

For starters, I am cashing in my Valentine’s Day present and spending a couple of hours at a spa. In Dinky Town of all places. I am really looking forward to it, except for this little thing I have against people touching me. In a spa, as you might have guessed, most treatments involve some sort of touching. I don’t know where this anti-touch thing started. My parents tell me I was always like that, but that’s for another post. Either way, I am going to stop at Java Train, get the biggest hazelnut steamer they have, and go get pampered.

Then comes the much touted shoe shopping trip. Peep toe heels here I come.

Tonight, we are meeting a friend at Famous Dave’s. I haven’t seen her for a long time. Now that she is newly separated from a man who is also our friend, she is spending more time back in the fold. Aside from the obvious awkwardness and juggling that comes along with caring about both of the separated parties, we are all just very happy to hear from her again on a regular basis.

Funny how we change. In my 20’s, if a friend dropped out of touch, especially because of a boy, it would have been unforgivable. Now, I see how complicated it really all is. No one can knows the nature of a friend’s marriage, her reasons for being absent all this time, or what is in her head and heart now. I used to freely prescribe intentions to people’s actions. Now I know that sometimes we don’t even know our own motivation. Maybe they were so blissfully happy that they forgot about us. More likely, they were dealing with things that would have been made even more complicated when shared with friends. Or maybe she just missed us, sees now that giving up friends is just never a good idea, because someday, you might need them again. And the rest of us? We’ll be there, happy to raise a glass to her new life and offering to be on the other end of the line any time she needs to pick up the phone.

But enough about that. It's Me Day. Bring on the scented candles and sea salt scrubs.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

In case you were wondering


Shalom- hello and/or peace

Toda- Thank you

Aba- Father

Ima (ee'ma)- Mother

Ken- Yes

Lo- No

Ahava- Love

This concludes Alex's Hebrew lesson for this week.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Blue

Most days, I don’t know where I’m going,

some times I don’t know where I’ve been.

There are nights I feel as small as the furthest star,

and every day you’re older than you think you are.

I just look into your blue eyes,

and it all makes sense for now.

Every once in a while,

I cry at the thought of another tomorrow,

there are times, I cry for the days I’ve lost.

I just look into your blue eyes,

and it all makes sense for now.

Monday, March 27, 2006

Swimsuit season

I don't know what it is about marriage and weight gain. It's not like I am cooking any more than I ever have, heaven forbid. And the whole thing about contentment leading to extra pounds is a bunch of bologna (mmm, bologna). I am more stressed out than ever, with school and thesis and job and furniture shopping...the pounds should be dripping off me! But no. I have gotten bigger everywhere (and not in a good way) since the day we said "I do."

I thought I had four months to get back into my fighting weight. Four months, that’s do-able. I can cut out cookies after lunch and pastries with my coffee and feel somewhat presentable by the time capri weather hits. But then my husband sprung a three-day Daytona Beach weekend on me. Can you believe the nerve? In less then four weeks, I have to don a swimsuit. In public.

Sigh. Since the Jones-Blogagaard Annual Writers Run is not yet scheduled, I can’t count on that as my motivator. I must think of something else. Apparently, the horror and humiliation of wearing a two-piece in front of friends and strangers is not enough. Oh yeah, and did I mention we are going on family vacation (there are like, a 1000 people in my newly acquired family) to a WATER PARK?!

No more butter on my toast. No more toast. No more hazelnut cream in my morning decaf. But I won’t give up my Frosted Mini-wheats Strawberry Delights no matter what you say. I love those things.

I’ll be on the treadmill if you need me.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Things that make me happy


I will now jump on the bandwagon driven by Cavu and Voix and will attempt to list off a few things that I love. I don’t consider myself a particularly unhappy person, but finding 12 things for this list of love and happiness was tougher than I thought.

But here is what I have come up with so far:

1. Coffee with friends. There is simply no better way to start a Sunday than with good friends over a cup of coffee (or these days, a vanilla steamer), except maybe Sunday brunch (but not at W.A. Frost, see previous post). And these are the best kinds of friends and the best kinds of conversations, where the topic can range from politics to failing health of loved ones to spiritual retreats. We can cover hairstyles and our love for hoodies with the same passion and sincerity we assign our discussions of our lovers and our mothers and our jobs. Nothing is sacred and everything is revered.

2. This country. I am no Pollyanna. I fully understand that we are currently being led by the Antichrist who is slowly attempting to rob us of our freedoms and advance his own crusade at the expense of our young men and women not to mention the entire country of Iraq (deep breath). Those facts notwithstanding, I have lived in places where the separation between the socioeconomic classes was so vast that the rich literally stepped over the rows of cardboard box houses of the poor on their way to the mall. I have lived in a country where children were taught at an early age not to kick rocks on the ground because they might be concealed bombs. So in a world where everything is relative, I have to say, I love this country.

3. Early spring. When my dog starts refusing to come in, I know spring is near. He sits on the top step of the porch, his nose high up in the air. God only knows what he might be sniffing. Rotting leaves left over from last fall, the crazy dogs down the block that are too small to have been let out for any extended periods of time during the winter but are now running circles in their yard barking at the melting snow. The longer he sits outside without giving us that seal-bark signal to come in, the closer spring is. And with it…

4. Time spent on my porch. My only rule when we were house hunting: must have porch. And we have one. A tiny, open-air, only-good-for-three-months-a-year porch. I love it so much I have a photo of it as my screen saver at work. Seriously. We have plantation style furniture on it and I sit and read while Buddy digs for dead things in the yard. It’s my own modest slice of heaven.

5. My MFA program. I have to say that I was not thrilled with it at first. In one of my first classes (Sam can attest to this) there was a lovely girl who wrote lovely crap about butterflies and boyfriends. The teacher insisted that we be kind to everyone and begin each workshop by saying at least one nice thing. I was horrified. I was not paying an insane amount of money to be nice, and I certainly did not want anyone being nice to me if the truth was that I had no business being in a writing program in the first place. I seriously re-considered my choice. I knew the odds of getting into Iowa were slim, and I wasn’t sure I was ready for THAT type of cruel honesty. So I stayed. And I am so glad I did. Sadly, just as my time at Hamline is ending, I have met people that truly inspire and humble me while at the same time making me feel like I belong to the Cool Kids Club.

6. Speaking of butterflies and boyfriends, my husband, Tony is at the top of the things-that-make-me-happy list. I got lucky, and I know it. He is kind and generous and we have amazing Sunday afternoon conversations that last way past dinnertime. He knows every stupid mistake I have ever made and loves me anyway. He makes me laugh and he loves my dog. He makes up songs about him and carries him upstairs to bed when his arthritis (Buddy’s, not Tony’s) acts up. I could go on, but then I might get kicked out of the Cool Kids Club.

7. New York, where my friend Anna lives. I miss it in my bones. I love the food and the freedom and the craziness. I love the used bookstore in West Village and I love the cupcakes at Magnolia across the street even more. I love Joes’ Pizza on Carmine where I sit and eat greasy cheese slices while I wait for Anna to get off work so we can take the subway together to her ultra cool apartment in Brooklyn. And Serendipity, where the eight dollar frozen hot chocolate is totally worth the two hour wait because John Cuzack sat there in the movie with the same name. There is nothing I do not love about the city that never sleeps, probably because I don’t have to live there and everything is glorious and romantic when I visit. I love the Muse Hotel and I love that night we spent there, Anna and her sister and Tony and me all sitting together on the bed eating Chinese take-out and watching the last episode of Sex and the City and feeling oh so hip with the rush of Time Square on the street below.

There is more. Music and my family and bad reality shows. But that’s enough happiness for now. Tomorrow I may list the things I love about Lit 6, or maybe I’ll talk some more about my dog.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Ulysses for Dummies


I am not sure if anyone has ever read James Joyce for pleasure. Reading work such as Ulysses seems to be something people are either forced to do for school, or something they take on as some sort of sadistic mental challenge.

Tonight, I went to a “Ulysses in 60 Minutes” presentation at St. Kate’s. It wasn’t what I expected. I assumed the talk would be given in one of the auditoriums, the seats filled with literary types in thick scarves and turtlenecks. Instead, the presentation was in a tiny classroom that the 12 attendees filled to capacity. The speaker, Patrick O’Donnell, is originally from Dublin and currently teaches at Normandale. He is a Joyce scholar and has written several plays based on Joyce and his work. His wife introduced him, although I am not sure why, and his three red-headed daughters attended as well (ages 1 to 5). When I wasn’t distracted by Lily O’Donnell moving chairs around and drawing puppies on the whiteboard, or little Anya’s high pitched protests coming in from the hall, where she was being shushed by her mother, the presentation was actually pretty interesting.

O’Donnell contends that in order to understand Joyce’s admittedly “frustrating” book, one should take the time to become acquainted with the author’s biography. Once we understand the writer, O’Donnell promised, Ulysses “opens right up.” Not sure about that, but it was interesting non-the-less to hear about Joyce’s childhood, education, and subsequent weaving of his life story into the epic that is Ulysses.

In Ulysses, Joyce takes on the “urban man of no importance” and attempts to show the “filth in beauty.” As a young man, Joyce rebelled against Yeates’ pastoral landscapes of Ireland as a mythical beauty. Ulysses is also a comedy, O’Donnell pointed out. That peaked my interest, just a little.

There was a lot more, we covered a surprisingly vast amount of information in 60 minutes.

In conclusion, you might ask if I plan on attacking Ulysses on my next beach vacation. Nah, I think I’ll stick with Anne Lamott and the latest Best American Short Stories. But at least I have some idea on what Ulysses is sort of supposed to maybe represent. So the next time you hear me drop a Ulysses reference at a cocktail party, please humor me. Nudge me gently, wink, then go get me another gin and tonic.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Required Reading

side-car.blogspot.com

One point I'd like to add to SideCar's post, and then we can put this whole blogging-as-trivial-babble thing to bed.

Blogging has been a little like speed dating for me. I know what Captain does first thing in the morning, and what weapon he might choose to put me out of my misery with if I cry outside his window after midnight. I share in Blogagaard's most embarrassing/thrilling Tobias Wolff moments. I walk along with Voix on her journey, painful and joyful and utterly naked right there on the screen. People I have never met respond to me, ME, with insightful messages of encouragement when I threaten to never write again. Those same strangers also freely share self-deprecating information on who their favorite Duran Duran member is- now that's naked! I may not know what they all do for a living, or even what they look like sometimes, but I know more important things than that. And to me, that seems the opposite of shallow babbling.

The beginning

Ayala quietly shut the door to her mother’s room and slid down the hallway to the kitchen. She put the copper kettle on and boiled water. She carefully poured the hot water into her mother’s coffee pot and let it seep through the dark coffee grounds. She let the aroma wash over her, and for a moment, all felt as usual with her world. When she opened her eyes and looked out the kitchen window, she could swear she heard her brother’s decrepit motorcycle purr outside their small house. She pushed back a new flood of tears, arranged the tray with several steaming cups of coffee and brought it out to her father on the patio.

The palm trees stood tall in the still morning hours, the sun already heating up the concrete patio floor. Her father was surrounded by a group of men, some of whom she knew to be important members of the village council. She placed the metal tray in front of her father and closed the door behind her as she went back into the coolness of the house. Her father and his friends had been out on the patio all morning, the temperatures rising now as the noon hour closed in. Soon they would come in for shelter from the heat. She knew she was not welcome in their discussion, nor did she have anything to contribute. She went into her mother’s dark room and lay next to her as she slept, the first few moments of peace since the knock on the door last night.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Can do!

I met with my advisor yesterday. I love my advisor. She is a quiet soul and knows her stuff. Her wild curls and signature velvet skirts make her look like a woods fairy, a nympth, sweet yet powerful. My advisor sat next to me at the imposing oak table in the Graduates office and asked me a question. In a voice so gentle it could sedate a criminal, she asked me a mundane question she has asked many insecure MFA students before me. "Are you ready for your thesis?" And before I could think, that crazed, ignorant girl that sometimes resides in my head spoke for me: "I will be!" She said confidentially. "Great, just make sure you have 80 pages by September." "Can do!" Ok, Crazed Ignorant Girl didn't actually say "Can do!" She may be crazy, but she is no kiss-ass. Either way, somehow, my lovely advisor got the impression that I know what I am doing. That I have this brilliant idea for a collection of short stories based on ONE, count 'em, ONE 6 page short story I already have. Let me see, I think that leaves...oh yeah, that's right, 74 pages to go. All of you real writers out there are saying, it's not about the page count Alex, it's about pouring out what you have to say. True. But please check post titled Filling up the pages for more information about that.

So, goodbye long summer walks. Goodbye lazy evenings drinking ice coffee on the porch. Goodbye Sunday brunches on some shady patio. I will be at home, in the dark, pouring out something onto 80 pages.

Monday, March 20, 2006

The wait is over


Just picked up my brand new Jeep Liberty Limited. Because nothing says "Alex" like a vehicle with unlimited towing capacity.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Tricks of the trade

I need help.

My best ideas come to me in the shower, or during meetings, or rush hour traffic, where I don’t keep my tiny notebook. Often times my husband is not around to take dictation and my dog can’t spell worth shit.

I am sure this is common, but I hear these stories in my head, and just as soon as I do, they are gone. I think I can remember them, I try all sorts of memorizations techniques. I trace key words on the wet shower curtain, or I say them over and over again in my head. My friend gave me a little tape recorder so I wouldn’t get into accidents fishing for my notebook while driving down 94, but then I bring the recorder into my house, and forget to bring it back to the car. Or the batteries die. I don’t do well with machines. Pen-and-paper rarely fails me.

So, how do you protect your thoughts when they creep up during inopportune times? How do you make sure they at least last long enough to get to the laptop?

Friday, March 17, 2006

Let is snow let it snow let it snow

In light of some recent anti-snow sentiments, I feel moved to defend my adopted state. Where I come from, we didn’t have snow. We didn’t have freezing rain and iced-over highways. We didn’t have 60 below wind-chill or coats so big the gender of the wearer became undecipherable. We didn’t spin out of control or get stuck in two feet of snow on our way to Rainbow. We couldn’t see our breath in front of our faces or feel our snot begin to freeze waaaay up in our sinuses. But you know what we did have? Terrorists.

It’s true, the snow starts to lose its appeal some time after oh, January 1st. I mean, it’s lovely around the holidays and all, with tiny white Christmas lights peeking out from under a fresh coating. It tops the pine shrubs like soft mounds of sour cream, casting dove gray shadows on the white ground below. And the first snowfall is always a thrill, bringing out the child in everyone. We sit at newly frosted windows and peer out at the slowly drifting flakes, huge and full like cotton balls. In early winter, I even forgive the cold when I see the trees down my street, bent heavy with sparkling layers.

But I concede, after a while, there is only so much of the white stuff that I can take. Come March, it’s time for rising temperatures and swimsuit shopping, not two snow days in one week. But at least no one is trying to blow up the Super America down the street. So I guess I don’t mind the snow so much.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Bryant Park

Ok, so maybe it was my fault. Maybe I made too much of a fuss over reading out loud in class. Maybe I was just being a bit too Cute about the whole thing, leading Teacher to pass me over. The thing is, I had finally gotten my nerve up after hearing how kind and thoughtful everyone was being to the other readers. I was just beginning to see that maybe going through such a torturous exercise as reading out loud in front of friends and strangers might be beneficial to me. And then, nothing. We get back from break and move on flawlessly to the next assignment. No "So Alex, are you ready to read?" Nothing. Queue close up of balloon deflating. Whooosh.

So here it is. Who needs face-to-face humiliation when we have blogland. For those of you who would rather be kept in suspense until next class, stop reading now.

Bryant Park
Joe leans forward on his elbows, his corduroy cap casting a murky shadow across his face. On the small concrete table in front of him lies a weathered chessboard, painted black and white squares on the cold stone. It is a game he plays every morning with his neighbors. Sometimes, in the winter months, they meet at Sylvia’s diner on 40th street, between 6th and 7th. Sylvia makes them pancakes and mushroom omelets, keeps their brown coffee mugs filled with Folgers. But when the days get longer, and the sun starts streaking the tops of the high-rises, the daily game moves to Bryant Park.

The base of the table is strangely ornate, a stout Roman column bolted firmly to the ground. Joe dons his spring jacket, although the trees in the park have yet to sprout a hint of their tiny green buds that normally usher in warmer days. Joe wears his loose tan jacket with pride, the name of his former employer stitched on the right side of his chest. Joe worked for Cobalt Builders for 35 years, and tells stories of his days building homes for New York wealthiest to anyone who will listen. But today it is Lenny across the board from him. Lenny has already heard all of Joe’s stories. Tales of days spent pouring concrete into large holes dug into the soft ground of upstate New York, or tearing down walls in lofts in Soho, creating even larger residences for celebrities. Joe didn’t care much about the fame or affluence of the people who eventually occupied the spaces he created. He loved the process of building. He loved the process of process itself. One brick on top of another. Slow and careful, a home comes into being.

Lenny sits across from Joe, his arms crossed behind his head. He leans back, the front legs of his metal chair propping up from the ground, creating a small space where he fits his booted feet. He tucks his chin into his chest, studying the board as his partner contemplates his next move. This is a game of patience, of quiet strategy. This is a game played over hours and days and weeks in this sunny corner of Bryant Park, New York City traffic buzzing by on 42nd street.

Lenny’s coffee cup sits dangerously close to the edge of the table. The blue and red Greek letters on it indicate that it is from a bodega across the street, not the Starbucks on the corner where all the kids go. Lenny has been getting his coffee from George at the 42nd street bodega for 22 years. On Fridays, he buys his wife flowers from George, tulips in the spring, white tea roses in winter. George is there every single day, except Sundays, when he goes to church and his daughter in law sells the tourists subway maps and Altoids from their tiny store. His daughter in-law is Muslim, George whispered to Lenny once. Who could have guessed, his son marrying a Muslim. But she is family now, George had said with a quick shrug, and a good worker too. Never leaves the bodega without replenishing the Tic-Tac display or sweeping the leaves back out on the street.

Lenny’s green scarf is tucked into a quilted jacket, worn down to threads on the elbows. The condition of his coat embarrasses his wife, since she is perfectly capable of sewing patches on to get it through another season. But Lenny doesn’t worry about these details. Lenny is a big picture guy. Lenny can listen to the songs of the first birds of summer, note the child on the sidewalk, stooping down to pick a maple leaf from a puddle, and still focus on his opponent’s next move.

Joe and Lenny play chess together on Tuesday mornings. Other days, it might be Sam that challenges Joe to a quick game before his Monday morning AA meeting, or Sid, who brings his grandson every once is awhile when his daughter gets called in for the day shift at the hospital. But today it is Lenny, with his green scarf and deteriorating coat. The men sit across from each other as the early sunlight carves white streaks through the maple trees, and pigeons peck at dead leaves on the ground.

Two young businessmen sit on a bench next to Joe and Lenny. Their identical suits and red ties exude an air of authority, even as rogue curls give away their youth. One holds a paper and the other a Starbucks cup. They do not notice the chess game behind them, their hands animated in zealous conversation. The future of New York and the passing of time, side by side in Bryant Park, Tuesday morning in early Spring.

Monday, March 13, 2006

My family in the snow storm

Take me to your masseuse


When I am home during the week, I watch the Travel Channel. You would think I would be tired of traveling, having lived in three continents by the time I was 15. And for a while, that was true. But now I love to see new things, breath non-Minnesota air.

A commercial on the Travel Channel implores, be a traveler, not a tourist. What type of traveler are you? Do you prefer undiscovered places where accommodations amount to a tarp over your head and a hole in the ground? Or do you sign up for an organized tour the minute you step off the plane, lunch and beverages included? Do you refuse to go to Paris because it’s a tourist Mecca, or is it on top of your list precisely for that reason?

Me, I am somewhere in the middle. Not a tourist, not an adventurous traveler, I am a VACATIONER. My idea of “roughing it” is not having a mint on my pillow when I return to my room after a day at the pool/beach/spa/shopping trip to the quaint little village down the road. I look forward as much to a beautifully appointed hotel as I am to sight seeing and steeping myself in the local culture. When I am comfortable, that is when I can relax and enjoy venturing out, museum hopping, sight seeing, canoeing…ok, no, never canoeing.

That is why I love, love, love, Sam Brown. She is the host of Passport to Europe and Great Hotels on the travel channel, and she focuses on all the right things. Yes, she goes skiing with a professional instructor in Switzerland, and she tours factories where they make ancient bells in Austria. She even hang-glides in Hawaii and pets wild birds in the Florida Keys. She eats everything her hosts put in front of her, dares to drink local wines, and risks life and limb in pursuit of exotic delicacies so we don’t have to. She is brave, that Sam Brown.

But Sam Brown mostly cares about three things: How is the shopping? How is the spa? And how is the bathroom? That’s my girl.

Sam Brown is the reason why I dragged my brand new husband down to the other end of the Las Vegas strip on our honeymoon in search of the Burger Bar, where they have (brace yourself) a dessert burger. Glazed donut, chocolate fudge for the meat, fruit roll-up for the cheese, and strawberry sauce in lieu of ketchup. I mean, come on, that’s adventure!

So maybe I have gotten spoiled in my old age. Or maybe I focus too much on food, which might explain those pesky pounds that have crept up on me in the last few years. But I don’t mind. I like comfort, I like pretty. I like balconies with ocean views and I like good water pressure. That trek up Peruvian mountains, my own tent on my back and freeze-dried goat meat for dinner, will have to wait for the next life-time.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Oh it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas

What a weekend. Visions of shiny new cars, cans of cheap beer, and the Lit 6 roommates dance in my head. It was a weekend so full of ingenuous creativity that I feel so…do I dare say it? Hip. I feel so hip I may have to go to Target tomorrow and get a black turtleneck. I buy everything at Target lately. Have you seen their new furniture lines? Seriously, it’s great stuff. But I digress. So…creativity. Yes. Mind you, none of said creativity was mine. I did absolutely no writing whatsoever this weekend. But I listened to great writing, and I think that counts.

Really, the shows were great.

Saturday night we went to the Lit 6 show and it rocked. It was hilarious, quirky (but in a good way), clever (also, in a good way) and above all, thoroughly entertaining. It was particularly great to see Sam, looking so svelte I barely recognized him. Seeing him brought back many memories from my first few steps in grad school. But that’s for another day.

Tonight I ventured out to see Dan Hendrickson’s one-man show at Acadia Café in Minneapolis. Also funny and thoughtful. AND, he quotes Journey. There can never be too much usage of Journey lyrics in theater as far as I’m concerned.

Oh, also, my husband and I went to the car show and checked out some possible options for me. I would love to make Leonardo DiCaprio happy by getting a hybrid, because it’s good for the planet, plus I think he’s dreamy, but I am a poor writer. So it will probably be a Saturn. Still, I am psyched to get a new car. I love new things. I live for change. Three years max. I am the best candidate for a leasing program because I tire of everything quickly. Just ask my ex-husbands.

Tune in tomorrow to learn which car I chose. This is important stuff people.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Filling up the pages


I woke up this morning thinking: I have nothing to say. What will I write about in my blog? Voix says to write every day. And I want to be a good little blogger and take her advice. Have you read her blog? You should. Anyway…

So I have nothing to say today, and as you can see, I had nothing to say yesterday. But I realized a wonderful thing shortly after inhaling my morning coffee. Talking about the fact that you have nothing to say is still saying something. If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice, according to Rush.

So here is what is on my mind today:

How am I supposed to set my creative spirit free if I am obligated to fill a certain number of pages?

I (sort of) understand the need to assign a certain range of pages for class assignments. Otherwise, one person can hand in one page while another hands in 50. But…I write short stories. I have the attention span of a miniature dachshund, which is why I chose short fiction as my major. For my current class, we have been assigned 15 to 30 pages for our final piece, which is a freaking novel to me. It might as well be 100. I have struggled with the last four pages for so long now that the entire piece no longer makes any sense to me, nor do I care anymore. Sad, very sad.

I love my dog more than anything in the world, and he is getting old.

Sometimes, when I am driving in my car, I can almost imagine the day he no longer greets me with a whine when I come home (we keep him in the kitchen because he has the nasty habit of pooping in the living room if he has any freedom whatsoever). And I cry in my car. Isn’t that twisted? But it makes me so sad. (I am starting to see a theme here).

And finally, the Lit 6 show is tonight and that doesn’t make me sad at all. I plan on leaving my house around noon to make sure I get in. Since there are only five of you currently reading my blog, and you will all be there tonight, I won’t push it too hard. But if you have stumbled upon this blog by chance, and you don’t live in Israel, come on down.

That’s it for now. Over and out.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Hold me closer Tony Danza

I was driving home from work last night singing to the radio, and misheard a simple lyric. It made me smirk. So I thought I would post some lyrics I have frequently misheard. There are many more, but I can't think of them right now. The first one is an entry by my little friend Sophie.

Actual lyric: Save big money at Mendard’s
What Sophie heard: There’s a big bunny in the yard

Actual lyric: Whenever I’m alone with you,
You make me feel like I am free again.
What I heard on my way home from work: Whenever I’m alone with you,
You make me feel like I am three again. (The Cure)

Actual lyric: Searching for my shaker of salt
What I still sing outloud: Searching for my long lost chickersaw (Jimmy Buffet)

Also by Jimmy Buffet: Stepped on a pop top
What I thought it was: Stepped on a tart pop

Actual lyric: Another Saturday night
And I ain't got nobody.
I've got some money
'Cause I just got paid.
What I like better: Another Saturday night
And I ain't got nobody.
I've got some money
'Cause I just got laid. (Cat Stevens)

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Woes of a working writer

I write for a living. It's a little like washing dishes at your favorite restaurant- it kills the fantasy. I know I am lucky and that the percentage of writers making a living from their craft is ridiculously low blah blah blah...but wait. Here is what you don't understand. I write about medical devices. Can you think of anything more boring? Not only is it incredibly dry stuff, I also get to feel stupid on a daily basis because I don't have the slightest understanding of what it is I am writing about. Here is what I mean (this is mild, I am not supposed to repeat the real meaty stuff):

"He remembered observing that the DC value of the impedance he was working on back in the late 1980s..."

To top it off, I also get to write about the work of the devil:

"The animal feasibility trials took awhile..."

This morning I woke up with just one wish in my heart: to stay home with Buddy and blog (and work on my weekly assignment, in case Ed is reading this). Is that too much to ask? Do I really need those new Coach shoes? Evidentially I do. If it weren’t for Captain and his war on squirrels, and Sidecar's inexplicable love of melted faux cheese, I would not get through the day. Thanks guys. Now, back to implantable hearts.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Good question


When I was setting up this blog, I told my husband I wanted lots of photos on it. He joked, "what kind of writer are you anyway? All you want is pictures." He may have been kidding, but he hit on a question I think all writers often ask themselves: "Am I really a 'writer,' anyway?" Of course, it doesn't help when people find out you are a writer and ask, "what kind of writing do you do?" I know how much musicians love the "what kind of music do you play" question. How do you answer these questions when you question yourself as a genuine writer/musician/photographer/artist on a daily basis?

What type of writer am I? Sometimes, I am a lazy writer. I work hard at avoidance techniques. To pay the bills, I am a journalist, reporting on scientific medical developments that are so boring it makes me want to cry. Every once in a while (but not in years) I am a prolific writer, sitting at my laptop for hours pouring out writing that leaves me both exhilarated and exhausted. On a really good day, I am a writer who produces something that looks sort of like poetry, or lyrics, and it doesn't matter what it is because it's mine. Much of the time, I am an insecure, self-doubting writer who wishes she was dark and hip and full of stories that just had to be told. But the truth is, often times, I am just a girl with nothing to say.

So, what kind of writer are you?

Sunday, March 05, 2006

W.A. Frost, friends, and the Oscars


As I sit and watch the pre-Oscars show, I have to admit I have never watched the actual Oscars. Is that shallow? I'm only in it for the dresses. I am watching the ABC coverage and I have to say it is tolerable. At least no one is gropping Scarlette Johansson's breasts. Which is just never a good thing.

Today I took time out from homework and other cruelties to have brunch with our friends. The six of us live within a five block area but don't get to see each other nearly enough. There is no better way to start a snowy Sunday than brunch with good friends. The conversation always flows. Movies, politics, and lots of food talk. We are all different in the best ways possible, but can agree on one thing: the more desserts included in a buffet, the better.

Speaking of brunch, one piece of advice: skip W.A. Frost. We made reservations last week for their fabulous buffet. Got there, ordered our coffee, settled in, then went to hit the buffet line. Except, no buffet! They decided to "try something new" by only offering entrees. No joke. Except they neglected to say so on their web site. For his part, the poor kid that waited on us offered his apologies in a well memorized speech and comped our coffee. Off we went to Dixies, which not only had a buffet, but it included, get this: A CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN! Happy Sunday indeed.

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Definitions of Love

I
Alone: adv.
1. With no other.


Our lives are not intertwined,
I can go for seconds without thinking of you.
I spend hours alone,
with the scent of your skin on mine.
And I don’t miss any part of you
when you’re gone,
except for the part of me
you take with you.

II
Foreign: adj.
1. Not characteristic.

Moments that to others seem mundane,
breakfast
TV
holding hands against a sudden gust of wind
.
To us these moments are orchids,
strong when well tended,
mysterious and foreign,
perched on suburban windowsills.

III
Storm: n.
1. Any strong disturbance.

You leave quietly in the middle of the night.
I think I can still hear you breathe
but it’s the rain against the slanted roof.
You call and say I’m coming back,
And you do,
you come back.

IV
Question: n.
1. A difficult matter; a problem: a question of ethics.
2. Doubt

You ask me questions and I make up the answers,
you know that I do but you ask anyway.
I catch your eye in the rearview mirror
and it’s my turn to ask the questions:
When did you become
a stranger to yourself?

V
Daughter: n.
1. One’s female child: the daughter looked just like her mother.

You teach her new things every day,
you are her hero, she, your muse.
She looks like an angel in flames.
I wouldn’t be able to leave her
either.

VI
One: adj.
1. Being a single entity.
2. United. Being in unity.

Last night I dreamt that we walked
down by the river
where it opens up into a plump crescent
before it bends and disappears.
You said look at the stars.
But I wonder where you are
tonight.

VII
Broken: n.
1. Fractured.
2. Violated, as a vow.

We had been apart for so long
I can barely remember the color of your eyes
except for that moment
when they turned black
and you said it’s you.
Storms have brewed and broken
and subsided
while you were gone.

VIII
Need: n.
1. Lack of something required.
Necessity; obligation: There is no need for you to go.

You ask when I will leave you again
and I say maybe today.
You smile but I see the gray clouds
return to your blue eyes.

IX
Love: n.
1. Strong affections
2. In tennis, a score of zero.

Friday, March 03, 2006

Testing





This is my first post as a blogger. If this test is conducted at any other time, please find the nearest shelter. And don't forget your dog.